Are You Stuck Behind a Wall?

Heartbreak and pain are good teachers.

It has been over a year since my world exploded. The trauma set me adrift in a storm, I was tossed about in a whirlwind of emotion and pain.  Even though I had done nothing wrong, I felt like I had failed at life.

Once the raw pain subsided, I was left with a dull ache in my heart and a lot of broken pieces. Looking back at that first few weeks, I know I was scared. My carefully planned future dissolved. Self-pity overwhelmed me. I did not know how to go on. I cried out to all who would listen:

“Poor me”  “Why me?” “It’s not fair”.

Unforgiveness became a stumbling block. I wanted revenge. I was tripping over the bricks of anger, shame and worry that had fallen on my path. wall

If I left the bricks on the road, they would pile up and become a wall blocking my way. I did not want to get stuck and be unable to move forward in life. I did not want to wallow in sorrow, bitterness and depression. I did not want to harden my heart.

I saw that wall starting to form. The way seemed dark and forboding.

I saw that wall starting to form. The way seemed dark and foreboding.

In the midst of my moaning, I heard that “still small voice”.

While I was still crying out in despair, I came to realize that I had a choice. I could continue to build a wall with bricks of unforgiveness and anger or I could build a bridge to a new future.

I chose to start working on a bridge. With much prayer, I started removing the bricks from my path The first step, for me was forgiveness. 

bridge of courageIt is not easy to forgive when the pain is deep. It is not easy to forgive someone who has hurt so many people.

I learned that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. By forgiving, I was not condoning his actions; it simply meant I would no longer seek restitution. I released the debt owed to me. I set myself free to take the next step toward my future.

It took courage to let go of the past and embrace a new road. Wallowing in the pit was easy but I am blessed to have friends who offered me their hand and helped me climb out of the pit.  I am blessed with friends who are walking the road with me and praying with me. I now have a new hope and lots of love.

My prayer is for any of you who find yourself stuck behind a wall of negative emotions. I pray you will find release with forgiveness as the key to breaking down the wall.

I have found that unforgiveness is the mortar that holds the bricks of anger and resentment together. It is time to free yourself. It is time to forgive and move into your destiny, your future.

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”


15 thoughts on “Are You Stuck Behind a Wall?

  1. Wow. This is so good Lily! One of my biggest personal “storms” happened exactly a year ago and although those days were dark and shaky and I had no idea how I’d come out on the other end I’m so happy I held on tight to God and allowed Him to build me back up and help me remain steady and strong in Him. It definitely takes courage to move forward with your life, especially when people you care about hurt you. I’m happy that you were able to do it with God’s help and that you stopped that wall from being built. Thank you for sharing this. Be blessed!

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