The Knapsack

icon-grill-ted-strutzShe hung her wet coat on the peg and slid into the end booth. Her heart still racing, she ordered a drink. “What am I going to do?” she cried the words to herself.  Closing her eyes, she tried to calm herself. She pulled her knapsack closer, with trembling hands, she reached inside. Her fingers crept past her book, past her sweater. “Please let this be a nightmare” she whispered in desperation. Her fingers touched the cold metal and recoiled. The reality hurt, yet calmed her. It was true, she’d killed him.  Drinking deeply, she sighed. The abuse was over.


52 thoughts on “The Knapsack

  1. Hi Lily!
    There’s a lot packed into this. A clear beginning, middle and end, with a twist in the tail … and the sketch of a character to boot. One quibble – and it may just be a British English thing – but I’d prefer:
    “It was true, she had killed him” (Or “she’d killed him”).
    I think the past perfect feels more emphatic here.

Please leave a Reply, I would love to hear from you.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s